Saturday, June 30, 2012

Speak No Evil

Usually grocery shopping is done on Thursdays, every other week. I shop at Walmart mainly. If you have ever been to Walmart.. you KNOW how fun that can be…

I once had the opportunity to provide my two cents to an elderly woman who watched as my two year old got her toes run over from the shopping cart. She decided to give me a tip on parenting, and how my children should remain INSIDE the cart at all times. She was probably NOT prepared for the back-lash from yours truly.

See, she didn't understand that my 2 year old had been in the cart for the majority of the trip. She had only recently been let down; which was done because she tried to JUMP out. I should mention this was at the end of my shopping trip, which was nearing 2 hours. I should also mention the shopping trip was following my 9 hour work day. Therefore, my nerves were down to their last one..

Due to my lack of voice from said illness of previous post, all the elderly women shopping at my Walmart on this fine Saturday are lucky I can't speak :)

Down with the Sickness

I have contracted some type of deadly throat issue. My voice is gone, my sinus' are producing a nasty greenish/brown mucus that can only be described by Handsome Rob as, "freakin gross," and to top it all off, I woke up this morning cursed with a cold sore.

While I really wanted to lay in bed and say "Screw Today," I am a wife and a mother and things must be done in order to keep this house running. (FYI - if I were expelling liquid from either end of my body, I WOULD be laying in bed all day long.)

So up I get. I ran to the gas station to get a hot drink hoping to soothe my throat enough to make some type of noise to get my children's attention. It did help a tiny bit, but not as well as I was hoping. I came home and sat on the couch and watched a few minutes of TV before my two girls came in. They are 5 and 2 1/2 and the loves of my life. They are 5 and 2 1/2. They don't listen as well as I'd like them to... especially when you have no voice. So my screeching at them, asking them what they want for breakfast, comes out more like an alien trying to communicate through an ancient vocal technique. So I decided to wait until one of them says they are hungry.

A few minutes later Handsome Rob comes up from the basement and sits on the other couch. After a few moments of silence he says, "Did you feed the girls breakfast yet?" My screeching comes out again, but luckily he knows how to read lips. "Not yet," I can barely make out. "You going to?" He asks. I shake my head yes and make my way into the kitchen as he makes his way into the bathroom.

About a minute later he comes out and sees me over the oven. I have a pan out and started the bacon, with the eggs on the counter and the biscuits next to them. He stood there for a few seconds and then said, "You are going to make breakfast? You are going to get everyone sick!"

Dumbfounded by the last three minutes of our existence together, I look at him in awe and confusion. I screech again, "Okay, then you make breakfast." He walks past me and straight down the stairs. I wait a few minutes as the bacon is cooking, to see if he will come back up and take over.

He came back up alright...

And went right outside to the man cave.

MarriedGirlProblems.